"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
