i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
