I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
