on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize