Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it's like iHOP with fire
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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