Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
