What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
