I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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