Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
a search helicopter?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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