can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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