I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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