so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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