I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
