woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
