Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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