I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize