Whod you bang
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
