I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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