Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
