how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
