Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
