hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize