We're facebook friends in real life
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
