i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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