dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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