hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
