69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
