Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize