Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
