Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4.

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  (443): How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner? (402): 4. http://tfl.nu/fuje
  Replies (15) Good night (3232) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth

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  (860): He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3n80
  Replies (54) Good night (642) Bad night (10346)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.

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  (937): you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/qnaa
  Replies (29) Good night (5803) Bad night (1282)
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  (760): View more from California

  she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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  (760): she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door. http://tfl.nu/tltu
  Replies (24) Good night (1783) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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  (603): No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class. http://tfl.nu/tnda
  Replies (28) Good night (4196) Bad night (776)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  (708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq
  Replies (55) Good night (7308) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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  (219): So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on. http://tfl.nu/rrpe
  Replies (9) Good night (4126) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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  (208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew
  Replies (23) Good night (4142) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.

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  (256): smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick. http://tfl.nu/bhlk
  Replies (37) Good night (4710) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...

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  (209): you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom... http://tfl.nu/nw55
  Replies (9) Good night (3574) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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  (703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e
  Replies (4) Good night (2845) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!

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  (563): So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes! http://tfl.nu/5w2r
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...

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  (509): Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night... http://tfl.nu/llkl
  Replies (7) Good night (811) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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  (619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j
  Replies (11) Good night (409) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians

  (1-415): View more from California

  Does the penis have a genital wart?

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  (415): Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians (1-415): Does the penis have a genital wart? http://tfl.nu/myct
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (318)

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