Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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  (904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg
  Replies (28) Good night (817) Bad night (2150)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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  (410): she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby. http://tfl.nu/u78i
  Replies (55) Good night (829) Bad night (6608)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Ketchup is God's man juice

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  (720): Ketchup is God's man juice http://tfl.nu/p9oo
  Replies (43) Good night (2763) Bad night (1453)
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  (949): View more from California

  My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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  (949): My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout. http://tfl.nu/7ut3
  Replies (3) Good night (4424) Bad night (744)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

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  (+44): she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people http://tfl.nu/xprr
  Replies (8) Good night (4162) Bad night (1255)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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  (304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay
  Replies (14) Good night (3480) Bad night (1848)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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  (920): He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start. http://tfl.nu/5fft
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (2796)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk you is pretty stunner.

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  (651): Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me" (612): Drunk you is pretty stunner. http://tfl.nu/hyj5
  Replies (9) Good night (4209) Bad night (884)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

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  (403): Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/jnzf
  Replies (10) Good night (2578) Bad night (677)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it

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  (208): It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it http://tfl.nu/8smb
  Replies (5) Good night (1310) Bad night (470)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless

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  (615): On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless http://tfl.nu/rjme
  Replies (3) Good night (1214) Bad night (370)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight

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  (216): Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight http://tfl.nu/4usg
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (629)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out

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  (513): you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out http://tfl.nu/zkkx
  Replies (7) Good night (403) Bad night (927)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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  (775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (763)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".

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  (386): When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me". http://tfl.nu/x44y
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (202)

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