Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome