Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2435) Bad night (748)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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  (203): Maybe he just has a boisterous penis http://tfl.nu/s2rt
  Replies (17) Good night (3455) Bad night (892)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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  (804): This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public http://tfl.nu/6cpw
  Replies (15) Good night (843) Bad night (3719)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?

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  (+44): Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong? http://tfl.nu/qz2n
  Replies (44) Good night (2482) Bad night (6679)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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  (908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1
  Replies (11) Good night (3323) Bad night (938)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (3993) Bad night (1035)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

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  (774): if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking. http://tfl.nu/oesf
  Replies (8) Good night (1114) Bad night (4366)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.

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  (778): some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast. http://tfl.nu/x23k
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (2184)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.

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  (817): There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be. http://tfl.nu/26vp
  Replies (15) Good night (1918) Bad night (703)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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  (908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (995)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?

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  (705): Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right? http://tfl.nu/d74x
  Replies (23) Good night (1229) Bad night (934)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him

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  (843): Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him http://tfl.nu/dncw
  Replies (4) Good night (1134) Bad night (480)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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  (801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs
  Replies (24) Good night (818) Bad night (1722)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Why are your underwear on my dining room table?

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  (904): Why are your underwear on my dining room table? http://tfl.nu/jeuq
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (286)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them

  (386): View more from Florida

  Tequila 1 marriage 0

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  (813): He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them (386): Tequila 1 marriage 0 http://tfl.nu/qbt7
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (659)

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