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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How unfortunate for your Mom.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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• (310): View more from California

  The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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• (310): View more from California

  They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing

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