Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
