Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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