I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
