everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
