you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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