I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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