A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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