Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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