I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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