What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
