9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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