took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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