When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
