I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
