So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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