My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this