Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
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What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.