Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?