My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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