just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
