so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
