The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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