When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
