Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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