She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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