God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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