Me too!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
