Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
