Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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