eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
