I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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