this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
