I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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