Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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